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Meditation helped me healed my heart

I am not sure if you have read the previous posts but on the last blog, I talked about how breathing and yoga helped me on my path of healing, self discovery, self love, physical and mental well being.

Ya know after establishing yoga as one of my daily habits during chemotherapy, I knew I needed to take a step forward…

I had used meditation to help me to sleep at the beginning of my cancer treatment especially during the day when I was so tired but couldn’t physically get to sleep as I was on so many steroids as part of my anti nauseous medication.

I had also experienced a little bit of meditation while doing yoga and focussing on my breathing…

But I realized pretty quickly that I needed to learn how to sit quietly, by myself and this is how I started meditating daily as part of my daily routine too.

I tried a few free meditations on Youtube, on Apple podcast app but one day I came across a powerful meditation while listening to a Cancer Symposium online organized by Kris Carr (a cancer survivor and thriver who has been living with Stage 4 cancer for the last 16 years).

There were many integrative doctors, health professionals, motivational speakers, healers and survivors speaking at that Symposium.

The meditation was done by Iyanla Vanzant, a spiritual teacher and life coach – an amazing human being as I later found out.

It was a beautiful meditation and I felt so connected to my body, to my cancer while doing it….

In the middle of the meditation she asked me to put my hands on my cancer/or wherever the tumour was.

Then she asked me to ask the question to it, to my cancer “why are you here?”

“My cancer” answered loud and clear…it was almost as if it had shouted at me: “Anger”

I was so shocked…ashamed…sad…but I knew that listening to that answer, acknowledging was going to be an important part of my healing.

I had been so angry…angry with my family…with their family…with my life, the life and challenges I had been given…the life that I felt to that point it had been a lonely one because I had never felt supported by my family.

I had put all my happiness and fulfilment on external factors and people as supposed to look for it within myself.

I had blamed external things and people for so many things that didn’t go right in my life and I forgot to take responsibility, to accept my reality, to accept the life I was giving…which from where I am sitting now…is full of blessings.

Incorporating meditation in my daily routine allowed me to uncover my wounds, my pain that was buried inside my soul and so ingrain in it…

There was no more running away from myself….I knew the work to pull it all out was going to be a process….and once more I was up for the challenge.

I was finally open to trust the process and to do whatever it took to do the work to uncover it all.

I knew that the anger inside me was a fundamental part of my cancer…an important cause that contributed for the growth of disease in my body…I knew that in order to be healthy I needed to work on healing my inner self.

This is how meditation helped me and still does…

If you have never meditated, I would love you to give it a go…

My biggest advice on meditation is don’t set any expectations before you do it, meditation is simply a time for you to sit quietly with yourself…some days you will be able to free your mind more than others…the most important thing is to let go of any expectations and to keep doing the work daily…trust the process.

Let me know how you get on….I would love to hear…

If you want to try a meditation, click on the link below as I have recorded a couple of meditations for you:

Meditation 1 – to connect to your inner body in times of uncertainty

Meditation 2 – to cultivate self love


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I had never meditated before until…

As ashamed as I am to confess this, it is fair to say if cancer hadn’t hit me I would still be living a life where I would be mostly running away from myself.

Isn’t that crazy? 

I know now it is crazy….but it took me to reach rock bottom…with my health…I almost lost my life to realize that.

So when I started opening up my heart…

I started listening to some meditation…

I remember exactly where I was and the feeling of my first full deep breath…

I didn’t realise that I had been living without breathing deeply…

I am not sure if you know but cancer cells live in an anaerobic environment…instead of using oxygen for energy like healthy cells, they use glucose. They need the healthy cells to survive, think about a parasite living of its host.

That gave me a good enough reason to breath…to breath deeply…but when I first did it…I felt again how uptight I had been…how much ‘stuff’ I had been holding on to…how ‘heavy’ I felt…

And the more I focussed on my breath, the lighter I felt…

the more connected to my body I started feeling…

I could almost feel my cells thanking me for breathing…deeply…

Slowly meditation started becoming a daily habit for me….

I was learning how to be by myself…with myself…I was learning how to slow down…to listen to my inner self…

And it all starts with breathing….a physical action that changes your physical state.

Changing your physical state of being on alert, on flight and fight mode, uptight, upset, angry…

to becoming calmer, more connected to your inner self, lighter, happier, at peace….

I know right? Just by breathing we can get all of these benefits and yet we don’t take the time to focus on it.

Today I invite you to breath…deeply… just try it…inhale to the count of 4 and exhale to the count of 6.

Do it 3, 5, 10 times if you can.

I would love to hear from you…let me know what you have felt…wasn’t it magical? Didn’t it make you feel calmer, lighter, less uptight?

But hey you’ve got to do it at least 3 times on the count of 4 – inhale and on the count of 6 – exhale. No cheating…

If you want to try a meditation, click on the link below as I have recorded a couple of meditations for you:

Meditation 1 – to connect to your inner body in times of uncertainty

Meditation 2 – to cultivate self love

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I felt energetically heavy

After my crying episode day…I was ready…I was ready to face the beast…I knew I had so much to work on…and I was willing to go for it…

My husband’s aunty prompted me to find a church…she knew I believed in God but she also knew I hadn’t been to a church for a while…

I found a church close by and we went to the Sunday service together…

After the service, Nick’s aunty prompted me again…this time she said: “I think we should ask the pastor to pray for you….”

I was terrified….😱when I was little, my grandmother used to pray/bless us….she was catholic but in reality, she wasn’t a nice person…but this is a story for another day….

So I have always been funny about people praying with their hands on me, or praying for me.

But this time I knew I needed everything it could help me…

This time I needed to change things around…I needed to open up…I needed to heal my heart…I was desperately in search of healing…

So I asked the pastor to pray for me….

Needless to say…I started to cry so much that I started sobbing….😭

I felt I had such a closed up energy that the pastor asked me if he could put his hands on my shoulders??

He could feel it too….🤦🏼‍♀️I was closed…my energy was heavy…

I don’t remember exactly what he said…I remember what I felt….

I felt like I had been carrying a ton of weight on my shoulders…a ton of anger….a ton of things that didn’t serve me…

But I also felt a little light inside me….it was not all lost…

I just needed to keep doing the work…keep believing in the process…I needed to believe I was going to be ok.

In a world where we are busy all the time, we are drawn to our tech gadgets 24/7 and more and more material stuff and very little time is left for us…for us to look inwards…

I felt I had walked so far away from myself that the walk back felt like a slow walk in the dessert looking for that little bit of water…

It was challenging…at times it was lonely and uncomfortable 

But I knew to get to the water…I needed to keep walking…I needed to keep doing the work.

I hope from the bottom of my heart….you haven’t walked away from yourself as far as I did…

I believe there is always a way to walk back though

and if this is how you feel, stop now…acknowledge it….and be open to walk back….turn around…start doing the work.

Don’t wait any longer….[To be contd.]