I had been so determined to be the best mother I could be that I dedicated myself to the job beyond reason and became exhausted and depleted in the process. I thought being a good mother, it meant to put myself last. I was raised to give everything I had to others first: my love, my energy, my help so when it came to my children, it became second nature to me to just keep the generational cycle.
I was beyond exhausted but too ashamed to admit that my exhaustion was beyond normal. I kept pushing through until I got sick. At 38 years old I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Bowel Cancer when my kids were only 6 and 4.
The realisation that I could leave my children orphan woke me up from the illusion that the right thing to do was to run myself to the ground to make others happy.
Slowly I started realising that I needed to put myself first. I started embracing the feeling that I matter. I started changing my habits to reflect true self care and self love.
Whenever I fell back onto my old patterns, I treated myself with self compassion which it had been an alien concept to me.
I am on a mission to help every mother to see that there is another way. They don’t have to live in exhaustion. They don’t have to run themselves to the ground. They don’t have to put themselves last.
If you are a mother and you are feeling beyond exhausted, it is not normal and it is not ok. Don’t be too ashamed or too scared to reach out for help.
We all need help any some point in our lives and not is crazy to think that through the most challenging job in our lives, we don’t need support.
If I could have gone back in time and speak to the “old me” when I felt so exhausted and lost, I would have said:
It is ok to choose you first.
You are important too.
Your kids need you so this is why putting yourself first is not selfish.
Your family wants you to thrive not survive.
When you are well, your family is well.
Things can’t wait but your health can’t wait.
Self care and self love are completely interrelated. You can’t have one without the other.
Self compassion is a gift you learn to give to yourself.
Stop accepting exhaustion as a “normal” thing. Feeling full of energy is possible regardless of your age.
Stop waiting to address your exhaustion. If you are waking up exhausted and feeling more exhausted most of the time, it is an issue you need to address.
There is another way of living and being.
If you have had enough of your exhaustion, sign up to my FREE newsletter where I share small habit changes you can implement in your day-to-day life so you can get your energy levels back and feel like yourself again.