After my crying episode day…I was ready…I was ready to face the beast…I knew I had so much to work on…and I was willing to go for it…
My husband’s aunty prompted me to find a church…she knew I believed in God but she also knew I hadn’t been to a church for a while…
I found a church close by and we went to the Sunday service together…
After the service, Nick’s aunty prompted me again…this time she said: “I think we should ask the pastor to pray for you….”
I was terrified….😱when I was little, my grandmother used to pray/bless us….she was catholic but in reality, she wasn’t a nice person…but this is a story for another day….
So I have always been funny about people praying with their hands on me, or praying for me.
But this time I knew I needed everything it could help me…
This time I needed to change things around…I needed to open up…I needed to heal my heart…I was desperately in search of healing…
So I asked the pastor to pray for me….
Needless to say…I started to cry so much that I started sobbing….😭
I felt I had such a closed up energy that the pastor asked me if he could put his hands on my shoulders??
He could feel it too….🤦🏼♀️I was closed…my energy was heavy…
I don’t remember exactly what he said…I remember what I felt….
I felt like I had been carrying a ton of weight on my shoulders…a ton of anger….a ton of things that didn’t serve me…
But I also felt a little light inside me….it was not all lost…
I just needed to keep doing the work…keep believing in the process…I needed to believe I was going to be ok.
In a world where we are busy all the time, we are drawn to our tech gadgets 24/7 and more and more material stuff and very little time is left for us…for us to look inwards…
I felt I had walked so far away from myself that the walk back felt like a slow walk in the dessert looking for that little bit of water…
It was challenging…at times it was lonely and uncomfortable
But I knew to get to the water…I needed to keep walking…I needed to keep doing the work.
I hope from the bottom of my heart….you haven’t walked away from yourself as far as I did…
I believe there is always a way to walk back though
and if this is how you feel, stop now…acknowledge it….and be open to walk back….turn around…start doing the work.
Don’t wait any longer….[To be contd.]