I think we all go through this, right? We ask ourselves the question ‘why me’ when we are going through a tough time…going through something unexpected…something that we thought we would never have to deal with….
And in my case it was cancer…when the doctor confirmed it was cancer, Stage 3 Bowel Cancer and that I would need 12 sessions of chemotherapy.
I asked God: “Why me? Why now? Why cancer?”
My kids were only 4 and 6….we didn’t deserve this….
At the same time, I put my hand up and said: “God, I know I haven’t stopped for years…I haven’t been listening at all…and I kinda thought I was invincible, didn’t I?”
It turned out that I wasn’t….
I also thought God wanted to tell me I needed to heal my relationship with my parents which had been troubled for many years….
Deep inside, I started to open…my heart…my body….my soul to a new life….to a new way of being and I knew that I was about to go through a lot of suffering…but my desire to live started burning inside me….
Slowly the “poor me” feeling, the guilt feeling of not having looked after myself, the ‘why me” feeling of feeling powerless started to change….I felt a little fire inside me that slowly got bigger…I felt empowered because I wasn’t scared to ask questions, to receive answers, to work on whatever I needed to work…I just wanted to live and that was bigger than any suffering that I needed to face and go through….
When I reflect now how sad and powerless I felt straight after my diagnosis and probably a couple of weeks after that….it pains my heart.
I know now that to work on my power within my body, mind and soul was crucial to my healing. It made me go from feeling powerless to empowered.
I know cancer is not the only obstacle one can face, we face so many things that we don’t think we are able to cope with…an accident that changes your life, a stroke, a chronic disease diagnosis, a death in the family, loss of a loved one, a sick child, a divorce…the list goes on.
Making the shift from feeling powerless to empowered is an important part of the process….it makes you open to change, to learning, to create, to forgive, to love, to share, to evolve and become the best version of yourself.
So now….tell me about your life? Has anything happened recently or in the past that you haven’t dealt with? Something that made you too scared to even face? Something that you are still living with but that scares you, that make you feel like you want to hide in the corner in the dark?
How can you change your perspective from
‘why me, poor me’
‘why me…this is why….”
So “why did I have cancer?” Because I needed to heal my heart, forgive…I needed to appreciate life a little more….be more grateful….I needed to learn how to let go….I needed to learn how to stress less….to love more….to laugh more…..to rest more….to enjoy life a little more…I needed to put my self first….I needed to love myself unconditionally for who I was, for who I am and for who I was to become.